


dream on, exotic

by Anonymous



Category: Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cameos, Crossover Pairings, Humor, Language, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-26 04:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10779987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Nero figures he's qualified to write a book on Lucis Immigration Policy now.Nero/Noct. AU.Continues fromthis thingy





	dream on, exotic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JazzRaft](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JazzRaft/gifts).



When you're a kid of 'suspected' demon heritage, life as an outcast raised in the Order is difficult, but not impossible: turn up, kill demons, keep your nose clean. You're no hero; you're pest control. You've got the job no one in their right mind would fight you for.

When you're a _grown-ass_ man of confirmed demon heritage, and you make friends with a quarter-blooded angel and said quarter-blooded angel invites you to his hometown to chill out while you figure out your life and you accept... go ahead and uppercut yourself in the jaw right now.  Because if Dante's said it once, then he probably wrote the book on the topic: demons don't. fuck with Lucis.

 _And_ ,  _shit, Lucis don't fuck around either_.

Nero barely takes a step through the border when the alarm sounds, hooded cavalry descending on him faster than buzzards around a corpse.  Noct yells out a hoarse 'GET DOWN' and the rest happens in a blur of muscle memory.  Nero rolls to the side, narrowly avoiding a deadly spray of bullets, rolls again to dodge lightning bolts surging toward him, brings up Red Queen just in time to guard against a slash to the jugular. 

"Tch." The guy vanishes, reappearing behind Nero to take another swipe, but Nero pivots, blocking effortlessly from every angle the guy attacks from. He’s gone head to head with Dante so this is child's play. Unpredictability can become predictable if you're exposed to it enough.

In Nero's peripheral vision Noct barely fends off an assault from two other people in hoods, before he yells out to the guy attacking Nero.

"Nyx, stop! He's with—"

Noct winces, yanking out a nasty-looking dart from the side of his neck. He staggers a little, eyes wide with horror for a brief moment—and then it's light's out. He falls forward, sags right into one of the hood's arms.

" _My hero_." concludes Nero, dryly. 

"Are we fired?" says the hood who caught him. "I feel like we are."

'Nyx' or whoever the fuck he is, is probably rolling his eyes by the tone of voice he uses. "Pelna, how many times…they can't fire us for  _doing our job_."

"So, tourist." says the other hood beside Pelna—incidentally female. "You handy with that sword or you just compensating for something."

Nero narrows his eyes suspiciously at her, more out of amusement than annoyance.  "Was that a dick joke?"

(Because he  _thought_  angels were meant to be… _you know_ , all 'proper' and stuff, and the tone of voice she used was definitely filled with innuendo. Or maybe he's been hanging out with Dante and Trish too much, one of the two. )

She doesn't get a chance to answer. A helicopter swoops right over them, rotors whipping up dust and gravel and Nero's hair out of his face. The side door slides open and it's some blonde with a megaphone.

"Not him again…" mutters Pelna.

"ATTENTION GLAIVES…PEOPLE…THINGY..." announces blondie.”YOU UH...HAVE NO…wait, hang on." He squints at the paper he's apparently been instructed to read from. "JURI-J-U-R--"

"IT'S JURISDICTION YOU IDIOT," yells the pilot, and they must have been arguing on the way there because blondie does a full 180, never mind the fact that they've got a half-blooded demon on the loose in their city  _just_  to go off at the pilot.

"LOOK, IF YOU THINK YOU'LL HAVE BETTER LUCK FIGURING OUT IGGY'S CHICKEN SCRATCH--"

Nero doesn't stick around for the rest; long gone in the crucial seconds everyone wastes being distracted by some dumbass who can't even pronounce 'jurisdiction'.

 

. . .

 

It makes sense to gap it after a welcome like that. Unfortunately, a shimmering barrier that is the demon equivalent of bug zapper covers the entire country, so Nero's plan to escape  _alive_  is going to involve gathering intel on that barrier and friends to supply that intel. Friends are going to be a challenge, seeing as a) this is the  _City of_ _Angels_ and b) according to Trish, Nero has the social skills of a female praying mantis after sex.  (Dante says the analogy is a compliment if you squint hard enough.)

It doesn't daunt him.  If there's anything Nero's taken away from Fortuna it's that human beings commit much worse atrocities against each other on a daily basis than every demon he's sent back to Hell. Insomnia may be a beacon for economic prosperity but tall buildings cast long shadows, and in the shadows the city's underbelly lurks.  Invisible, if you don't know where to look.

Social skills aside, Nero's not patient enough to go round asking for directions anyway. He steals some money from a stockbroker who probably earns too much to care (three piece Armani suit, drives an Audi) finds a map ( _apparently_ they still sell those), finds the nearest phone booth, and pays some kids skating nearby to stand  _juuust_  so that the camera can't see past them.

The phone is answered on the first ring.   _That's a first_ , Nero thinks.

_"Welcome to Sex Addiction Intervention. Our line is currently busy at the moment, so leave a message and your contact details at the beep and one of our professionals will get back to you as soon as they can. BEEEEEEEP!"_

"You know sex addiction's a real problem that affects people's lives, right?"

Dante just snorts.  _"Since when is_ too much  _a problem?"_

Nero leans against the wall of the phone booth, turns his head to see the kids still doing their job.  "Sounds like something a sex addict would say..."

 _"Punk."_  says Dante.  _"So…Trish intercepted the most_ intriguing  _Kill or Capture order online. Had_ _your_ _ugly mug on it.  Very unflattering angles."_

That was fast. "How much?"

_"In pizzas or cash?"_

Nero rolls his eyes. _"_ _Guess_ _."_

 _"Well…Trish says we need to replace some of the pipes, pay some bills, pay her outstanding bar tab, pay_ _my_ _outstanding bar tabs, that kinda thing. We could come get you, but the A-List for Lucis is..._ _exclusive_ _."_

 _No shit_ , Nero thinks. "I thought you could get in anywhere."

Dante and Trish snicker, apparently finding innuendo in that statement. (When do they not though.) _"Yeah infamy doesn't earn you a seat at the table with these folks. Word on the street is my old man stole a shard of the crystal."_

"Did he?"

_"Ehh it's all a case of 'he said, she said', but, if you ask me, I think a thousand years is more than ample time to get over it."_

"So he did steal it."

Dante scoffs.  _"It was a_ shard _, kid."_

" _Great_."

Trish weighs in on the conversation as well:  _"I don't know, I thought the Oracle was pretty civil when we paid her a visit."_

 _"And pretty."_  Dante adds, smirk in his voice. What an asshat. “ _Lucky for you we know someone on the inside who owes me--OW! Owes_ _Trish_ _. You got a map on you? The place you're looking for is called the Titty Twister, down in lower Insomnia. Password is 'Ice Cream'.  Ask for Lady."_

 _"_ _Ice cream_ _?"_

" _You scream, we all scream for ice cream! Wooo--"_

Nero hangs up. 

 

. . .

 

" _Ice-cream_." Nero grounds out, to the woman checking names off a clipboard outside the Titty Twister. Barring the doorway is another woman, currently scrolling through her phone.

She looks up, peers at him judgmentally thorough her glasses, like she's waiting, so Nero, internally dragging a hand down his face, goes:

"…you…scream…?" The woman doesn't blink, doesn't even breathe. "We all scream for ice cream? I swear to God I'm gonna kill Dante…" he adds quietly.

Mention of Dante's name does the trick. She sighs out a  _’finally’,_  hands the clipboard to the other woman, grabs Nero by the arm and starts hauling him along toward a motorbike parked across the street under some lights. The glasses get tossed into a bin on their way there. The wig, too.

"He needs a new password." Lady mutters as Nero puts his arms around her waist. "Wasted my time punching out five stoners asking for strawberry sundaes until you came along."

 

. . .

 

Noctis knows he's in for it the minute he comes too in his room, but somewhere in Lucis there's a half-demon the Caelum dynasty is indebted to, who is being hunted down, so whatever lecture Regis has ready (this time) can be left on the back burner.

Naturally, breakfast at the palace this Saturday morning begins with a shouting match that has staff avoiding the dining room and kitchen altogether.

"Call them off!"

Regis looks over his newspaper at him and goes back to reading, nose wrinkling slightly at the stench of sulphur. "Could have at least showered."

"Call off the glaive! Nero's not like the others--"

"Oh it's _'Nero'_ is it?" says Regis, reaching for his expresso. "You know, I had the most  _interesting_  conversation with Gentiana the other day. This wouldn't have anything to do with  _that_ , now would it?"

Noctis flushes, losing steam. Admittedly it's a stupid prophecy that he's probably a little too invested in proving wrong, but the fact remains.  "He helped me with Ardyn and he saved Luna--"

"He's the son of the maniac who tried to steal the crystal--"

" _Grand_ son." Noctis corrects impatiently. "And it was only a _shard_ \--"

" _Only a shard_?!" Regis half laughs, half yells. "Son-"

"Exactly!  _Son_! Nero's nothing like his old man. He never even met him!"

“Neither have _you_ for that matter.” Regis sets his cup, then the newspaper down wearily and exhales.  "He's still a  _demon_ , Noct."

" _Half_." says Noctis stubbornly.  "He’s human too!" At 'human' Regis groans. 

"Three weeks in the Tenebrae Alps is  _hardly_  reasonable enough time for making judgement on his character."

"You're  _hunting him down_  and he's been in Insomnia less than 24 hours." Noctis points out. "What does that say about  _your_  character?"

Regis glares at him. It's the longest minute of Noctis' life, punctuated only by Clarus ( _how long has he been there?_ ), tucking into his scrambled eggs. And then,

"You've got until midnight to find him." says Regis finally. "If you haven't by then, the glaive will step in."

"Thanks dad!" Regis tries to inch away as Noctis kisses him hard on the forehead, then makes a dash for the door.

"At least shower before you go!"

"No time!" Noctis calls over his shoulder cheerfully.  "You won't regret this dad!"

"He says that  _a lot_  you know." says Clarus, in the silence that follows.

 

. . .

 

Lady has a pretty sweet three-bedroom flat nestled just outside the CBD, complete with central heating and a fully stocked fridge, but all of this pales the minute he lays eyes on the sick armoury she's got set up in her basement. Rifles hanging in cages from in order of range and power from two walls opposite each other, while the back wall is a shelf dedicated to ammo.  In a centre of a room a laptop is set up on a large rectangular table, and underneath that laptop are blueprints for the Kalina-Ann.

“Mark V,” says Lady, rolling up the blue prints and tucking them away into a drawer when Nero finally manages to peel himself away from admiring a triple barrel shotgun. She tilts her head.  “I thought Red Queen and Blue Rose melted while you were in Sanctus.”

Nero’s not surprised she knows about that—she’s Dante’s friend, after all. “Mark II,” he says with a shrug. “Red’s a lot lighter now but I’m still working on the recoil for Blue Rose.”

“You know I could take a look if you wanted. For a price,” Lady adds with a wink.

Yeah, definitely one of Dante’s friends. “Pass.”

“Your loss.” While she starts typing, sliding the mouse here and there, Nero pulls up a seat beside her. He’s not sure what he’s meant to be looking at, it just looks like blueprints…for an elevator shaft, if he had to guess. “The barrier protecting Lucis is powered by a crystal that dates back to times even before Sparda.  It’s stored in a vault below the palace. _Riiight_ there.” Lady points. “It works like a battery. Yank it out, and the entire city goes dark.”

Vault.  _Close enough_ , Nero thinks. “Okay, so how do we get to it?”

“We’re not, _God_. We’d be dead before we even got through the front door, kid.” she says.  “And anyway, we won’t have to.”

“You just said it was a battery—”

“How comfortable are you in hostage situations?  Holding a gun to someone’s head, taping their mouth shut, that sort of thing…like, scale from zero to ten, ten being _super_ comfortable and zero being—”

“You’ve got issues.” Nero says, tone flat.

“So…”

“ _Twelve_.” says Nero, because he wants out of this hellhole.  “Who’s the asshole?”

 

. . .

_“We’re coming to you live from the CBD where just moments earlier, King Regis Lucis Caelum, who had been due to give a speech at the 53 rd Annual Kingsglaive Ball, came violently under attack enroute to the Hotel Splendere.  The area has since been cordoned off, however onlookers in Odin Park have collectively described seeing a white-haired man facing off against His Majesty when—”_

 

. . .

 

“You’re gonna pay for breaking Red Queen, you old fart.”

Nero has Regis pressed against the side of a building with the Devil Bringer, blue spectral demon hovering just behind him, unconscious Kingsglaive agents dotting the ground around him.  There’s a cordon, just at the edge of his peripheral vision where a crowd has gathered. Typical.

“Red Queen?” says Regis.  When Nero bristles, he clicks. “Oh, you mean that kitchen knife you were swinging around.”

“Oh, I’ll show _you_ kitchen knife—”

“Nero put him down!” Noct yells, skidding to a halt just in front of Regis. More Kingsglaive are arriving, so Nero doesn’t do anything of the sort, naturally. 

“No can do Noct. This old fart’s got the key to the city.”

“That old fart is _my dad!”_

Huh. 

Well that explains…shit all, actually.  Fucking angels and their fucking hierarchy.  Nero just rolls with it.  “Can you get your dad to drop the barrier then?” he calls. “I wanna go home.” Noct’s face falls for some reason, like Nero’s gone and kicked a puppy right in front of him. 

“I’ll do nothing of the sort!” says Regis indignantly.

“ _Dad_!”

“Need I remind you that Insomnia is at its most vulnerable at night!” Regis shouts. “ _Completely_ out of the question!  You’d put the entire city at risk for a demon?!”

“ _Half_ -demon!”

“Same thing!”

Nero has no clue what these two are on about, and he really doesn’t want to know, so he just shrugs and says:

“So we wait till morning, then!”

The king goes quiet and glares—not at him, but at Noct, whose ears turn pink under the scrutiny.

They don’t wait till morning, because that’s just _fucking ridiculous,_ the Devil Trigger doesn’t last that long, but Regis doesn’t let the barrier down either. What happens is Lady double-crosses him, because she’s cut a deal with some dickhead called Drautos, who found the apartment building she was sniping glaives from, and shoots both him _and_ Noct in the back of the head with tranquilizer darts.

The very same darts that Noct got hit with when they first arrived, actually.

 

. . .

 

Nero comes to on a couch, in the reception area outside the office of the king of Lucis. He’s not surprised at where he is, but he is surprised they haven’t chained him.  He can hear muffled arguing coming from inside the office, but before he can really strain his ears it goes deathly quiet. After a beat, the double doors open, and it’s Noct, looking like he needs ten years of sleep to recover from what the hell it was they were arguing about, with a weak smile on his face. 

“Dad says you can take the room opposite mine.”

“That is the _opposite_ of what I wanted.” Nero deadpans.

“Well…” Noct runs a hand through his hair, flushing a little. “I mean you _could_ leave if you still wanted—”

“Would it make your old man happy?”

“Yeah, a little bit…” says Noct, reluctantly.  “He really doesn’t like you.”

As much as the feeling’s mutual, Nero finds himself grinning from ear to ear. It's probably the first time he's smiled since arriving.

“Lead the way _roomie_.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> alternative working title: dad can we keep him


End file.
